Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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