Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize