Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
