how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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