ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
