friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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