We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
