May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
