the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I need water and some morals
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
