I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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