dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
