Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
