I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
