All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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