so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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