Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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