I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
