kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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