I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
