That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
