Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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