Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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