Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
