Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
