Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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