There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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