If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
