party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
