I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
