i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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