She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
