help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
