We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
