is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
