He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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