She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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