Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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