Life is so much better after having sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
