I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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