i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
