Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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