My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
