I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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