"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
