It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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