he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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