he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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