I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
