i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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