How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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