Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
50% drunk capacity currently
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
