All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
