The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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