my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
