google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
