This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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