I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
